Beauty Speaks Life and inspiration

When he says he Changed

Have you ever let someone back into your life because you thought they changed? I stopped talking to someone last year for good. You can probably tell by me saying “for good” that I gave this person a number of chances. And I did. The guy I was talking to changed. He stopped doing what he use to do. He became distant. I even felt the need to beg him to call me. After putting up with all that, I realised that I didn’t deserve any of that. All I was trying to do was love him. And in return, all he did was treat me how he wanted to because he was convinced I wasn’t going anywhere.

I decided to end whatever we had. I couldn’t call it a relationship¬†because we didn’t have a title. And low and behold, once he heard that I was trying to end things, he decided to see the error in his ways. He apologized and promised to stop doing what he use to do to make me sad, and he pledged to go back to doing the things to make me happy. And he did start to make me happy again. Now, ask me how long did that last…. a week, barely. All I wanted him to do was talk to me. Literally that is all I wanted him to do. I wasn’t asking him to buy me anything or take me out or anything like that. If he offered, I wouldn’t refuse, but all I ever asked was for him to call me especially since he lived so far from me. And even though he said he would do better, after a week of me taking him back, he went right back to being distant. And this cycle began happening a total of three times until I decided to end it for good.

Beauties, I realized that a guy who changes for a week just to keep me happy long enough for me to be hooked again is not someone who wants to love me. That is simply selfish. He wanted all my good love but wasn’t willing to give that back to me until I was ready to take my good love away. If someone loves you and wants to be with you, then they will show it while they are with you and not before they are about to lose you.

Also, what I hated the most going through this was when he would apologize, tell me everything I wanted to hear, say that he knows what he is doing is wrong, and tell me all the good things he knows that he should do. But after only a week of us talking again he would go right back to hurting me. If you know what you are doing is wrong, then why do you continue to do it if you say you love me?

Beauties, enough was enough. I had to let that go.

3 Comments

  • Shauna

    It’s so unfortunate that we have to go through these things sometimes. All you’re trying to do us be there for that person, support them and love them the best way you know how to but they don’t appreciate you. The fact that we find ourselves begging for their attention someone’s days alot. Then we go through the emotional struggle of it all, just to get screwed over on the end. I’m happy for you that you ended it for good. You deserve so much better.

    • Derve Jay

      Thank you love and I am happy too! Thank you for sharing thoughts as well. I love hearing from my beauties.

  • Topik - UB

    This is truly enlightening. From a man’s perspective, and being a culprit of changing because a girl threatens to leave, sometimes it is imperative for a woman to remind the man that she can leave as easily as she came. Being realistic, there are many men who have changed for the better, but there are a lot of posers as well who will change for a week and go back to their old ways. What’s important is that you made this distinction. Great advice and even better read!

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